Wednesday 21 December
11 days sober
RR 100%

God,
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Amen

Feeling more tired as we move through my working week. Looking forward to some time off over Christmas which I have a nice run of. Felt fairly serene during the day yesterday, but had an appointment/outing in the evening and not sure why but some feelings of anxiety, fear and sadness came to the surface.

I was also thinking yesterday I did have a long run of 8.5 months sober earlier in 2016 but I realise now that I was on the wagon during that run. What I mean by that is I was sober but miserable. Idea of the programme I'm doing is to become happy and sober.

Tuesday 20 December
10 days sober
RR 100%

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
The courage to change the things I can.
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Amen

Well how do I feel today? I feel like this 12 step programme, and trying to implement the 12 steps is getting results. I'm feeling happier. It's easier to get up in the morning. I feel like I am carrying less negative emotional weight around.

Monday 19 December
9 days sober
RR 100%

God
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
the courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference
Amen

Enjoyed spending time with friends yesterday. It's good to be more honest and present amongst friends which is the new way I am trying to be. I'm trying not to worry anymore about impressing people or coming up with clever things to say. All I need to do is be nice, be positive and look for the good in whoever I am talking to.

Sunday 18 December - Ongoing recovery from sex & love addiction
8 days sober
RR 100%

God,
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
the courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Amen

I feel like the 12 step programme is working because overall I am starting to gradually feel happier. It takes time, but I can see progress. Yesterday I was having a nap during the day and it brought out some deepset feelings of isolation and sadness. I am continuing to discharge feelings like these as and when they occur during the day. I can feel myself starting to objectify women less. I can feel my self starting to see both women and men in a more positive way.

7 days sober
RR 100%

God,
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Amen.

Went to a 12 step meeting last night, and going to another one this morning which puts me in a really safe spot accountability wise. Tried the techniques for staying more serene I mentioned in yesterday's blog throughout yesterday and they really helped, and by keeping on doing them there is much more improvement to come I'm sure. Wishing everyone a happy and sober day, Jeff.